Trolling the Weaslys
by mirasecret
Summary: When Dick coincidentally spends the same week at Wally's house that Wally's English cousins come, trolling shall rule the day. Basically, Dick messes with the Weaslys' heads.
1. Chapter 1

Dick rang the doorbell and the door opened less than a second later to reveal his best friends, Wally. "Come on in," Wally said and closed the door behind him.

"Hey, Dick," said the flurry of mops, brooms, and dusters that was Wally's Uncle Barry. Dick nodded in his direction and followed Wally upstairs to his room.

"So why's your uncle cleaning like there's no tomorrow?" Dick asked. "Did he forget something important and now your aunt is making him clean in punishment or something?" Wally shook his head. "Nah. We're having family over. Well, family and two of their friends that are like family. But still."

"Ah. May I ask which family?"

"..."

"Wally?"

"Um..."

"Wally? Are you going to answer me?"

"Yes? Maybe?"

"Wally, which family's coming over?"

"Alright, alright!" he threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

"It's _that_ family."

Dick frowned. "I don't follow. Which family?"

Wally sat down on his bed and buried his head on his hands. "It's the family from England." Dick looked up, interested. "The crazy one?"

Wally nodded. "Which includes, the one that works in Egypt, the one that works in Romania, the rude workaholic, the prankster twins, the 'yes man', and the shy, fierce girl. Then there's the nice, overworked father, the terrifying mother, and their two guests, one of which is famous, and the other is the smartest wi-, um, person in her grade. The Weaslys."

"I've always wanted to meet the English branch of your family. They sound wonderful," Dick smirked. "Especially the pranksters."

Wally moaned. "I am so dead."

"How long are they staying?" Dick asked.

"The entire week."

"Is that why you invited me to stay the week?"

"So I wouldn't be miserable alone."

Dick snickered. "Well, hate to break it to you, but you'll be twice as miserable with me around. I am not helping you out whatsoever. In fact, I might just join the twins in pranking you. Sounds like fun."

Wally looked horrified as he shook his head so fast he was vibrating. "Please don't. I'm begging you!"

Dick smirked. "Too late. So when are they getting here anyway?"

Wally frowned. "They should be getting here any minute."

Right on cue, crashes were heard below. "FRED WEASLSY! YOU'D BETTER PUT THAT AWAY RIGHT NOW, OR SO HELP ME, I SWEAR THAT I WILL-"

"There's Aunt Molly," Wally grimaced. "She's scarier than a Nor-, um, never mind."

More crashes were heard from downstairs. "AND YOU TOO, RON! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO JOIN IN ON YOUR BROTHER'S PRANKS! YOU'D BETTER-"

"Let's go meet them," Dick said eagerly. Wally opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but he closed it. "Oh, Harry, are you okay? I know Floo Powder doesn't agree with you. Last time you broke your glasses and-"

Dick frowned at Wally. "Floo Powder?"

Wally paled. "Um, it's a type of thing that the English use in their cars, um, yeah?" he asked weakly. Dick looked out Wally's window which faced the front of the house. "There's not a car out there," he stated.

Wally looked panicked before grabbing Dick's arm and leading him out the door. "Let's go meet the family!" he said forcefully.

Wally stopped and turned to Dick. "Um, things are different over there. If they call you a muggle or mention Quidditch or something, ignore it. It's just English slang and you don't have to understand it, just trust me, they really are nice people, and um, yeah, just ignore it or go with the flow, and, yeah-" "Wally," Dick stopped his rambling. "I want to meet your family. I can do that with or without you."

Dick smirked and walked out of the room and down the stairs.

...

Dick had known immediately what was going on. How could he not? It was obviously that the Weaslys were wizards. He was a Roma wizard himself. He had been home schooled, but he was smart enough to have graduated before his parents died.

Wally didn't know that he knew. This was going to be interesting. Why wouldn't Dick troll them? It would be too much fun to watch them stutter for answers. Was he being mean? Nah.

So when Dick was introduced, he couldn't help but think of ways to troll them. "Are you a muggle?" Mr. Weasly asked as soon as he shook Dick's hand. Dick raised an eyebrow. "A what?"

Bill looked slightly panicked in Wally's direction. "Um, it's nothing, just English slang. Our bad."

Dick frowned. "My family used to travel a lot. We visited England at least twenty times. i don't recall that as part of their slang."

Inwardly, Dick was cracking up. These guys were just too easy!

Wally's smile looked forced now. "It's pretty recent slang. You should know. Aren't you the 'Master of the Aster', or whatever you're calling yourself nowadays?"

Dick placed his hand to his chest in mock indignation. "How dare you! My words are real words, you just won't admit it."

"Oi, mate, are you going to tell us who you are, or are we going to have to keep guessing?" asked one of the boys standing next to two people who were defiantly not part of the Weasly family. Harry and Hermione, if Dick had to guess. Which meant that the by was Ron.

"Ronald!" Hermione scolded him.

"Nah, it's okay. it's not like I'm not used to having people ask about me anyway," Dick said, his hand falling back to his side. "Why?" Harry asked curiously. "Are you famous or something?" Dick shrugged and scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, something like that."

Hermione peered at him curiously. "Do I know you?" she asked. "You look familiar." Dick chuckled. "Yeah, well, I get that a lot."

Ron peered at him curiously. "Seriously though, who are you?" Dick smirked and bowed extravagantly. "I'm Wally's best friend. He invited me to stay in Central for a week. I live in Gotham, so we hardly see each other." Ron looked like he was bursting at the seams. "You still haven't told us who you are!"

Dick smirked and mimed zipping his lips shut. "So sorry, but that's not happening. Get traught and get used to it." Wally dragged his hand down his face and groaned. "Why?" he muttered.

Hermione looked confused. "What's traught? And earlier you said something about aster?" Dick opened his mouth to respond when Wally elbowed him in the gut. "You don't even _want_ to know. He butchers the English language constantly. Trust me, it'll just make you even more confused." Dick glared at Wally.

"Wally, if you don't want me to leak the footage of the incident with Artemis from this past New Years, because I do have the security footage, I suggest you be quiet."

Wally sputtered something about how Dick wouldn't dare when he held up his phone. "Really, Wally? I wouldn't dare? Try me." Wally pale and shut his mouth. Dick smiled cheekily. "Good."

Ron frowned. "What's that?" he asked, pointing to Dick's phone. Dick frowned. "My phone? Haven't you ever seen one of them before?" Ron opened his mouth to answer, but was swatted by Hermione. "I'll explain later," she muttered in his ear. Dick internally smirked. This was too much fun.

"Never mind that," Fred said as he joined the conversation. "Who's this Artemis character, hmm? Is our cousin growing up, getting himself a girlfriend and who knows what else and doesn't have the decency to tell his cousins?" George asked. Wally turned bright pink.

"Wait, you have a girlfriend, mate?" Ron asked. Wally turned redder and opened his mouth to answer when Dick cut in. "Oh, Artemis? Yeah, she's his girlfriend. Or at least, he wants her to be. it's not quite official. yet. but we're getting there!" Dick said cheerfully.

"What's she like?" Ginny asked, taking interest in the conversation as well. Wally opened and closed his mouth like a fish, unsure of what to say. Then, he realized something.

"You little!"

He lunged for Dick.

"You set me up!" he yelled

Dick snickered and dodged the attacks easily. "And it was too easy," he taunted as he flipped over Wally's head.

Wally gave a frustrated growl before rushing at Dick with his arms extended to the sides to attempt to prevent him from escaping capture. Dick jumped straight up...

and didn't come down.

Fred, George, Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny looked up at Dick who was hanging upside down from the light fixture. Wally glared. "Please get down. Last time Aunt Iris caught you up there wasn't pretty, and I'd rather there not be a repeat."

Dick frowned. "You're no fun," he whined, but he continued to swing.

"How are you _doing_ that, mate?" Ron gaped at him. Dick shrugged, a smirk firmly plastered on his face. "Hey, Wally, you know, I was talking to Artemis the other day, and she was worried that you didn't like her anymore. It's been what, four days since you last talked to her? She's getting worried, man."

Wally paled as Dick flipped upright and pulled out his phone, dialing a number. "You wouldn't," Wally whispered, horrified. "I would," Dick cackled.

"I'm dialing," taunted Dick. "She's picking uuuuppppp."

Wally squeaked and dove behind the couch. "I'm not here!" he whisper shouted.

"Hello?" asked a confused Artemis over speaker phone. "Dick? Why are you calling me?"

Wally continued making squeaking noises behind the couch. "Hey, Arty," Dick said cheerfully into the phone. "How are you doing this fine morning?"

"Uh, wonderful, until you called me for seemingly no reason."

"Well that's great. See, Arty, the reason I called, funny story actually, see, Wally's here and I was telling him how much you missed him, so we decided to call you! Say hi, Wally."

"Hi Wally," came the muffled reply from behind the couch.

"Is there someone else there?" Artemis asked. "I can hear more than two people breathing over the phone."

"Yes, actually," Dick said. "Wally's family from England is here visiting."

"Uh huh," Artemis said, the frown evident in her voice. "Dick, why did you call me? I know you too well to know you didn't call me to say hi. What's going on Is there something I should know about?"

"No!" Wally squeaked, still hiding.

"Wally, is this a prank call?"

"Prank call?" the twins echoed, confused.

To Artemis, it sounded like the people on the other end were confirming her suspicions.

"Wally, why did you prank call me? You too for that matter, Dick."

"No! No! I didn't prank call you! Dick was being, well , Dick, and there was company over and he couldn't help but troll me in front of them! Just ask them Dick is currently hanging from the light fixture."

"Wally, if you're going to lie to me, your chances with me are over. I don't like lies. You know that."

"No! No!"

"Goodbye, Wally," Artemis ended the call.

There was a moment of silence.

Wally whirled around on Dick. An promptly exploded.

"RICHARD GRAYSON, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, YOU LITTLE TROLL, SO HELP ME I WILL-"

Wally was interrupted by the phone ringing. Managing to contain his laughter, Dick answered the phone.

"Did he buy it?" Artemis asked from the other end.

"Yes!" Dick's sides heaved from laughing so hard. "What?" Wally asked, very, very confused.

"Artemis and I pranked you," Dick explained. "We had everything planned out from the beginning. You fell _hard_ man. Too funny. Talk to you later, Arty," he told Artemis before turning off the phone.

"You little troll," Wally managed to chock out before sitting down heavily on the couch. The Weaslys looked at each other, very confused as to what had just transpired.

"Richard Grayson?" Hermione asked. Harry leaned in curiously. "As in the circus-" she cut off when she received the mini batglare coming her way.

"It's Dick," he said. Harry frowned. "Wally, you're best friends with _Dick Grayson?_" he asked disbelieving.

Ron frowned. "Who's Dick Grayson?" "Me," Dick said.

Ron's frown deepened. "What's so special about you? No offense, mate." "None taken," Dick shrugged. "I'll tell you later," Hermione hissed in Ron's ear.

"Wait," Fred paused. "Didn't Wally say something about a troll?" "Yeah, well, that's what Dick is."

Ron turned to Dick, disbelief evident in his features. "Dick, you're part troll, mate?" Dick frowned. "Trolls are real?" Ron opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water.

"Nah, he's not part troll. He just messes with our friend group and other people so much we call him a troll. Half of his pranks are that bad," Wally told Ron.

Fred and George grinned in unison. "A fellow prankster, eh?" Fred mused. "And you're famous apparently, so you must have some kind of money. Do you think he'd care to make an investment?" George continued. "An investment to what exactly?" Dick asked. "No. Nuh uh. Let's not even get started. Dick is not investing and that is final. Don't even think about it," Wally protested.

Dick frowned. "Invest in what?" The twin's grins widened and they shared a mischievous glint in their eyes. "Why Weasly's Wi-" Fred cut off after being elbowed in the gut by his brother. "Weasly's what?" Dick asked. "Um, the name's a work in progress, but basically, it's a joke shop they've been wanting to open forever. Just ignore them. My mother hates the idea, especially when she finds their prototypes laying around the house," Ron explained.

"Huh. Maybe you could send me some products before I decide whether or not to invest. What products do you make?" Dick asked. Fred grinned a little maniacally. "Well, one of our favorite products are the Skiving Snackboxes. There are candies with two ends. Pop the orange end in your mouth and you'll immediately become sick so you can leave class and spend what would have other wise been hours of being bored. Then, once you are on your way to the medical, er, I mean the nurse, you pop the purple piece into your mouth and you are miraculously fine," George explained.

Dick's eyes glinted. "That sounds... magical. Mind telling my how you managed to make the person feel fine afterwards?"

Panicked looks were exchanged all around. "I mean it's obvious how you would make the person sick, there would have to be something in the candy to make you sick, but I can't figure out how you managed to reverse the effects. There has to be some impressive engineering behind it. I'm really curious," Dick continued, trying desperately not to laugh at the Weasly's expressions. "Um, it' a secret," George managed weakly.

"Of course," Dick said smoothly. "The true's same for magicians, and it seems that your products have a certain quality of _magic_ to them." Ron went pale, Ginny choked, the twins started having a silent panicked conversation, Hermione looked at him curiously, and Harry frowned. "Was it something I said?" Dick asked innocently.

"Not at all," Wally managed to gasp out, sending panicked looks to Ginny.

"So where do you go to school?" Hermione asked, trying to change the topic. Dick shrugged. "Gotham Academy. What about you guys?" Dick's eyes glinted.

Hermione paled and sputtered. "Well, it's a private school in, um, Scotland, it's a boarding school," she said hastily.

Dick smirked internally. Ah, Hogwarts. "What's it like?" he asked. "Oh, it's so cool!" Ginny said. "It's an old castle that's reconverted into a school, it's really fun. There are woods and a huge lake. It's lots of fun." Dick smiled. "That's sounds like fun. Do they take transfers?" he asked.

Too.

Much.

Fun.

Ron suddenly had a coughing fit. "Why do you want to transfer?" he managed to get out. Dick shrugged. "It sounds fun. Where do I apply?" Harry muttered something under his breath about how this was going to be a long week before speaking up. "You have to have... certain abilities," he told Dick. Dick looked curious. "What abilities? I kind of want to go there."

Harry started sputtering, unsure of what to say.

Dick shrugged. "On second thought, maybe it's not for me. It's on a totally different continent. It's not like I could use magic or anything to teleport me back home."

Everyone in the room visibly relaxed.

"Dinner!" Aunt Iris called from the dining room. Dick smirked. Time for more fun.

...

When Dick entered the kitchen, a bowel of peas flew by his head. "Arthur!" Mrs. Weasly scolded. "Dick is a muggle, you know not to use you-know-what." Dick frowned. "What's a muggle? And why do you keep calling me one?" Mrs. Weasly smiled tightly. "It's someone who's sweet and innocent. It's a term of endearment." Dick smiled happily, but on the inside he was impressed with her ability to come up with a smooth lie that fast.

"It's not like you can call Dick innocent. He is a troll," Wally deadpanned. Arthur looked up, interested. "A troll! Really? So you're not a muggle?"

Dick threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "I'm not a troll! It's just what my friends say I am because of the pranks and the tricks and butchering the English language and just about everything that I do! I am not a troll!"

"Alright, dear, no need to get excited. We understand," Mrs. Weasly said gently. Dick smiled a little. "Sorry, Mrs. Weasly."

As they sat down at the table to begin eating, Mr. Weasly imminently began bombarding Wally, Dick, Aunt Iris, and Uncle Barry with questions about how they lived. "And the toaster? Magnificent!" he would exclaim. The twins would snicker, Ron would slump further in his seat, Harry would watch in amusement, and Ginny was shaking with silent laughing.

"So what's your family like, Dick?" Ron asked.

Dick looked down at his plate and didn't answer. He finally looked up. "What do you want to know?" "Well, what do they do for a living?"

"Which family do you want to know about?"

Ron frowned, confused. "I just wanted to hear about your family, mate. How many families do you have?"

Dick smiled sadly at his plate. "My parents were John and Mary Grayson. We were trapeze artist for Haley's Circus. My guardian, Bruce, does business stuff."

Ron's frown deepened. "What happened to your family so that you have to have a guardian?" He proceeded to yelp as Hermione whacked him. "Ronald! You have no filter!"

Dick's smile turned sadder. "It's okay. There was an accident. Then Bruce took me in. But it's fine now."

Ron opened his mouth, about to say something, when Hermione jabbed him in the gut with her elbow, effectively getting him to close his mouth. A tense silence filled the dining room. A shadow of a smirk crossed Dick's feature. This was perfect. The perfect battle ground.

_'Ladies and gentlemen, may the first annual Trolling Games begin, and may the odds be_ ever i_n your favor_,' Dick thought.

"So what do you do for a living, Mr. Weasly?" Dick asked to 'break' the tension. Panicked looks were exchanged around the table. The focus came to rest on Mr. Weasly who looked like he would rather listen to one of his wife's rants than answer the question.

"Um, well, I, you see, I, well, I work in the Min-, um, I mean, if someone has a problem with something, anything really, then I go to help, um, them, and, um, yeah," Mr. Weasly stuttered, which Dick took to mean, 'I work for the Ministry of Magic in the Muggle Resources Department.'

This was just getting better and better.

Dick smiled at Mr. Weasly. "oh, that's cool. So you're like a handy man?" he asked pleasantly. He saw Mr. Weasly mouth to Hermione, 'A handy man?', and she mouthed back, 'I'll tell you later.'

So Hermione was muggle born. And Harry lived with muggles. After all, who hadn't heard of Harry Potter in the Wizarding World? Dick wasn't too impressed with Harry's story. After all, he did much more dangerous things. It was an everyday occurrence. Almost dying was a second nature. Hey, he wasn't call the Boy Wonder for nothing.

Dick caught Harry studying him from across the table. Harry turned red and looked away. Dick shrugged. Whatever.

Throughout the meal, Dick kept making comments on how Mrs. Weasly's cooking was so good, it must be magic. Whenever he made a comment like that, faces paled and hands clenched.

This was way too much fun for Dick's own good. Why were they so easy to troll?

...

It was day three of the so dubbed, 'The Trolling Games', and Dick was having a great time.

Dick showed them magic tricks and made an off-hand comment about how they must know something of a few tricks themselves. Dick drove them crazy. They kept trying to decide what he knew. Sometimes, it seemed like Dick knew everything about them, other times, he was just another ignorant boy.

Currently, Dick was sitting on the roof, swinging his legs as they hung off the gutter. Below him in the yard, he could see Fred, George, Ron, Harry, and Ginny sneaking out holding brooms. Dick smirked. Too easy.

"Finally we managed to escape Dick's notice," Ginny said. "I haven't been able to fly in weeks. It's like he had a Weasly sense that lets him know exactly where we are at every time." Dick smirked. That was actually partially true. Time for some fun.

Dick swung down from the roof, did a few flips and back handsprings, and stood up and bowed.

Ginny couldn't help it. She screamed.

"Where were you?" Fred asked, looking he had seen a ghost. "On the roof," Dick shrugged. George gaped. "On the _roof?!_ How did you even get up there?!"

"I climbed."

Ron opened and closed his mouth like a fish.

"So are you sweeping the porch? Aunt Iris has been trying to get Wally and I to do that forever," Dick gestured to the brooms in their hands. Harry nodded vigorously. "Yup! That's it!" he said quickly. "Maybe I should help you out," Dick mused out loud. The Weaslys traded horrified looks, but Dick pretended not to notice.

Dick slipped inside and grabbed a broom. As he was returning, he heard Harry say,"There's something fishy about him. I just can't place my finger on it." Dick frowned. Harry was getting suspicious. This might be harder than he thought. _'Nah,'_ Dick reasoned. _'I'm just catching bat paranoia from B.'_

Dick helped them sweep the porch, all the while remarking how the Weasly's brooms must be magic or something to achieve the level of 'sweepiness' that they did. After they were done, Dick suggested that they play a game. "No thanks," Ron said. "We have homework to finish."

Dick raised an eyebrow. "In the middle of summer?" Ron winced. "Well, the teachers at our school are really strict, and they assign us summer work to get our grades ready for the next school year." "Oh," Dick said. "Can I help? I love school. It's been so boring without work to keep me busy. I love math most of all." "You're already pretty busy trolling us, you little troll," Ron muttered under his breath. Dick pointedly ignored him.

"Actually," Ginny cut in. "Let's not do homework right now. I want to play a game." "Sure," Dick agreed. "How about Truth or Dare?" Nervous looks were exchanged. The Weaslys couldn't be sure of where this was going, but they could tell that it wasn't going to be pretty.

"I'll go first," Ginny suggested. "Dick, truth or dare?" "Oh, this is going to be fun," he said, his eyes glinting. "Truth."

"Why are you trolling us so badly?"

Dick smirked. "Ya'll are just too easy. It's funny to see your reactions every time I mention magic. Wally doesn't believe in magic, he says everything can be proved by science. I think magic does exist. Look at the Justice League. Some of the heroes get their powers from magic. And of course there are somethings that can't be explained by science. Magic is the only logical answer there. Anyway, I like trolling you guys because it's so obvious that you don't believe in magic it's almost painful."

Dick mentally gave himself a pat on the back for his impressive monologue. The Weaslys had bought it.

"Yup, that's totally it. Magic doesn't exist," Ron said sarcastically. Dick pretended he hadn't heard. He turned to Ron. "Ron, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Bad choice," the twins said imminently, seeing the glint in Dick's eye.

"I dare you... to kiss Hermione."

Dick smirked. Too much fun. Why didn't he do this more often?

Ron turned beet red and shuffled off to find her. Dick slipped inside behind him and filmed the whole thing secretly like only a son of Batman could have.

Way too much fun.

...

The week was drawing to a close. The night before the Weaslys and Dick left, Harry, Fred, George, Ron, Wally, and Dick were staying up talking. Dick had continued to troll them throughout the week, but now was time for the biggest bombshell of all. _'Here we go,'_ thought Dick. _'Showtime.'_

"This week has been fun," Dick said. "Although I must ask, does the Ministry of Magic know about your little trip into a muggle's home?"

The twins shook their heads. Dick counted down, waiting fot he explosion to happen, for them to realize what he said. People were incredible thick sometimes.

3

2

1

Harry froze, watching Dick with his jaw to the ground.

Fred was so surprised he dropped a pile of books on his twin's head.

Ron started sputtering like a cursed teapot.

Wally started vibrating.

It was really quite funny.

"You know?" Ron finally said. Dick shrugged. "Um, yeah?" "But that's against the law! You're going to have to have your memory wiped and everything! This is bad." Dick smirked. "That won't be happening. I'm a wizard myself. I'm home schooled, that's why I don't go to Hogwarts or any other magic school. I graduated early, and what I don't know, Zatara helps me out with."

"You're a wizard?" Harry asked faintly. "Yup," Dick said, popping the p. "So you knew this whole time?" Wally exploded. "YOU LITTLE TROLL!" They shouted at the top of their lungs.

...

Mr and Mrs. Weasly were sitting in the living room with their three eldest sons when they heard shouting. "Did you hear that?" Percy asked. "There is is again," Charlie frowned. Then, they all distinctly hear the word 'troll', accompanied by crashes. "You don't think," Mrs. Weasly started. Loud bangs and running could be heard from downstairs. "Yes," Mr. Weasly said and pulled out his wand as he ran up the stairs with his family close behind.

They burst into the room to see the boys chasing Dick, whacking him with pillows as he ran. Dick was cackling madly as he ran, having a great time. They boys were all red in the face, except for the twins who looked amused. They froze when they saw the adults with their wands bared, panting heavily. "What is the meaning of this?" Mrs. Weasly asked, her voice dangerously low.

Percy gasped. "Our wands! Now we need to wipe Dick's memory!" And with that, Dick died laughing on the floor. "What?" Percy asked, confused. Wally glared at Dick. "The little troll knew the whole time. Turns out, the little twerp is a wizard himself. He was pranking us, thought it was funny to see us try and come up with a plausible excuse."

There was a moment of silence. Then,

"YOU LITTLE TROLL!"


	2. Author's note

**So most of the people who have left me reviews have asked if I am writing a sequel or another chapter. Actually, since I began planning this story, I have intended for it to be the first story of a trilogy. The second story will be called the Pentawizard Tournament. You can probably guess what it will be about. The first chapter will be out by at least the end of the year. Before I post it, I need to finish my other stories, or I will be up to my neck in them. I will post another notice when it is out. Happy reading! **


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